When Mistakes Haunt

Haunting memories are hard to overcome. It seems as if I'm reminded of mistakes on an almost daily basis. It's not that I go looking for these reminders. They're just there. They pop up at the most inopportune times and stick around in my mind like old chewing gum stuck on the sole of your shoe.

The biggest challenge with old mistakes is that you can't really go back and fix them. I mean, you're limited insomuch as the level of contact you have with the people or circumstances within which these mistakes were made. You might have the opportunity to go and right a wrong between you and someone else... but even if you do, that opportunity may not be here at the right time. The timing might be wrong, or you might just simply be too afraid of addressing that person... wondering what it might do to your friendship.

On the flip, and this is where it gets very difficult... sometimes, you don't have that opportunity at all. Sometimes you have to live with the guilt, or the pain, or whatever it is, simply because you can't go back and fix it. The mistake is done, permanent, etched into the tablet of your history without any chance of reversal.

Some might recommend that you simply put these things behind you. That's all well and good. I've done it time and time again. All it takes, of course, is some new circumstance that reminds you of past mistakes. We're not robots with a magic delete button. We're living breathing souls, and when we're reminded of some distant pain or mistake or memory, it comes back to haunt us. Terribly so.