Fresh Parmesan Cheese

I'm staying in more often. I went to the grocery store for the first time in a month. I cleaned out some nasty shit from the fridge. I'm cooking dinner. Sure, it's just spaghetti. But it has my own recipe sauce and fresh parmesan cheese. I'm also saying no, as much as I don't want to, to going out tonight. Instead I'll stay in, watch hulu, and get a full night's sleep. I've already paid bills and organized some paperwork.

Depression sucks, kids. 2009 was full of it. December was about the epitome of it. If any of you noticed me ever being in a real funk, that's why. I'm climbing out, slowly but surely, and one thing's for damned sure - knowing that I have some good things on the immediate horizon sure as hell helps.

The Wonderful Thing about New Years

There have been many years in my life where I look at the ball dropping on Times Square, shrug, and think to myself, "Heh. Oh well. Whatever."

This time was quite different.

As most of you know, this has been a rather dramatic year for me. It's been filled with extremes on all angles. Nothing has been normal or steady. From heartache to great get-aways, to losing friends and making new ones. Foreclosures and new jobs, rediscovering ones self and trying to recover from hiding for so long.

While 2009 had some great times, it's been plagued by a dark cloud of doom overshadowing it all.

This is the first time in many years where January 1st has brought me an actual sense of renewal. I woke up this morning and, albeit in a haze of sleeplessness and with the foreboding lag of a hangover, I could not go back to sleep. The air was different. There was a spring in my step which, while not something you'd see as I sulked down Ludlow Ave., was definitely felt in my heart.

The real question I'm asking myself is - how long will this last? Yes, here's the pessimist in me showing its nasty face, but I have had experiences like this before, and they tend to dissipate before anything real can happen. Perhaps this time can be different. Maybe I'll figure out just what it is I'm looking for and go after it with all of my heart, not a fickle percentage of it. 2009 is behind me. The dark times can be too, right?

Last note, if you ever have a chance to attend a Festivus party, do it. It's an absolute blast and a great way to kick an old year in its ass as it flies out the door.