Maelstrom

Life can be a maelstrom of unpredictable events. You don't know when the waves of torment or the unexpected typhoon of change is going to strike. The season of murder sneaks upon you when the skies are sunny and bright, like the flash of red venom. I am thankful for my friends, for my family, for the faith that has managed to persevere through some severe attacks. Without these things I would be a shell of a person.

Within me is a storm, raging, good and evil wrestling each other for some resemblance of control. Above this storm is the passive me, trying so much to hide the storm; like some veil of energy or power designed to block out all reality from existence. Within me is the peace that passes understanding, set right next to the untamed fire of betrayal and rebellion. Within me is a man with strength, with knowledge, with zeal and will; being wrestled by a child marred by the torment of abuse, lies, and discontent.

It is the soul that yearns to give, to see, to experience, to love, and to be loved. To rise above, to scream and shout, to stand in the wind and cry, "God! I feel you in the way my hair blows, the way my spine crawls, the way the colors flash in the back of my mind!"

While I trudge through life, while my life is reorganized around me; while I drive forward like a madman piloting his craft through a maelstrom at sea; I find but one place where I can rest and know that my life is not in my own hands. And this is an encouraging thought.

Staying in Cincinnati

Yep. I officially turned down a job offer in Columbus. This is actually the first serious job offer I have ever turned down. It felt empowering to some degree, though I was apologetic for having taken up their time only to change my mind. But, they understood personal dilemma's. So that's cool.

Now that I have decided to stay in Cincinnati, I have also decided something else. I am going to pursue my passions. Music and audio engineering and all things that revolve around sound in the marketing world. I'll still keep my career at National City - "making it" in the marketing industry as an audio guy is a bitch, to put it lightly. So, in that regard, I am going to look at moving closer to the city. There are some job postings at branches near downtown, and I have good leads on places in Northside and Lower Price Hill.

So. That's the next stage of my personal evolution. You can't live your dream if you don't go chasing it.

Concerts, concerts, concerts

Seen a ton of concerts lately. In fact, so many I am getting backlogged on sending pics and reviews. Is this a problem? Could be, though I'm more for the enjoyment of it myself than the sharing with others, which makes me somewhat selfish. Regardless, here's a list of bands I have seen recently..

Mission to Burma & Faust in Lexington

Sundresses & random others at the 6 feet under party in OTR

Good stuff, good stuff. Will write more later to be sure, but right now I am obsessing over the Google Wave invite I received from Amanda Lee. There's like, nothing for me to do in it, and I'm still sitting here drooling over it's cool factor. Can't wait for the bloggie app to be released so I can test creating a wave and plugging it into this site.

Leash

Don't let your heart jump ahead of your feet unless there's a leash attached to something you trust.

I dunno. That came out of nowhere. What is trust, really? A lot of people might come up with snazzy answers, or truths they think are all-encompassing, but trust is a choice. Trust is something that is within us. It's a choice we make, it's a choice others make. Sometimes we can make ourselves trust something. Sometimes others force us to lose our trust. In those rare beautiful moments, trust just exists.

Snowbound

Today, I officially began a company called "Snowbound Production". I have now joined the ranks of the American Small Business owner. What's primarily exciting about this is that it creates an engine whereby I can track all of the extra income I make in all things audio. Remixes, voiceovers, original songs, scoring, copywriting/editing, mixing/mastering, anything. Any income I make as a "creative" freelancer I can throw into this business, and then there are obvious tax breaks and what have you for business-related expenses.

Now I am up super late trying to organize my remarkably hectic life and put things in an order so that I can tackle the next three months with some resemblance of sanity.

Here's to trusting that this will all work out.

Prost!