Maelstrom

Life can be a maelstrom of unpredictable events. You don't know when the waves of torment or the unexpected typhoon of change is going to strike. The season of murder sneaks upon you when the skies are sunny and bright, like the flash of red venom. I am thankful for my friends, for my family, for the faith that has managed to persevere through some severe attacks. Without these things I would be a shell of a person.

Within me is a storm, raging, good and evil wrestling each other for some resemblance of control. Above this storm is the passive me, trying so much to hide the storm; like some veil of energy or power designed to block out all reality from existence. Within me is the peace that passes understanding, set right next to the untamed fire of betrayal and rebellion. Within me is a man with strength, with knowledge, with zeal and will; being wrestled by a child marred by the torment of abuse, lies, and discontent.

It is the soul that yearns to give, to see, to experience, to love, and to be loved. To rise above, to scream and shout, to stand in the wind and cry, "God! I feel you in the way my hair blows, the way my spine crawls, the way the colors flash in the back of my mind!"

While I trudge through life, while my life is reorganized around me; while I drive forward like a madman piloting his craft through a maelstrom at sea; I find but one place where I can rest and know that my life is not in my own hands. And this is an encouraging thought.